Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
