i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
