Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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