i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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