I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
