chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
