I could have mohawked her pubes.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
