Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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