Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
