Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
