The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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