I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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