Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
