apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
