You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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