if only i could text you this smell
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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