I wannas sexs uuuuu
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
