9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
