drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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