batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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