1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
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