he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
