If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
