It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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