piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
