hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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