I heard we made out
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
