she looked like the before picture.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
