I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
