When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
She made me pour olive oil on her.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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