are you still at the devil's house?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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