it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
