I got chris browned last night
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
