sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
