I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
