Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
