I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
