Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
