Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
