If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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