i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
