It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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