does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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