Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
