No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
