i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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