Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
