I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
