dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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