Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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