I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
