i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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